Eons ago, I wrote a post about how I never really feel creative enough for the blogging world. And I wanted to revisit that because, here's the thing: nothing has changed. I still feel that way. I suspect I will always feel that way. And it feels very relevant to my blog, and I think I have a lot more to say about it than I did a year ago.
Once again, I'm compelled to point out Cait at Paper Fury. I don't think I have blogger envy here so much as plain old person envy. She seemingly does it all - photography, constantly reading, writing like 900 books at a time, SHE EVEN EXERCISES. And, you know, she's about as funny as they come with her discussion posts.
Aentee from Read at Midnight literally came up with the coolest readathon ever and makes the prettiest phone wallpapers. Rachel from A Perfection Called Books is relentless in her promotion of debut authors. While all the tweets and interviews and chats and yearbooks require a LOT of work, they also require creativity!
And just think of all the amazing features and discussion posts you read and I'm over here like AHHHH ALL I DO IS WRITE REVIEWS.
I've always had a hard time coming up with post ideas. And now, when I do, I write half of it, stop, don't come back to it for weeks. (I mean, that part isn't a creativity thing, I think it's just laziness, but MOVING ON.) I've started a Cats as Books post, but even that came at the suggestion of Mikayla at BookyCakes. The super awesome Rachel at Beauty and the Bookshelf talked about a feature of authors and their pets when I mentioned the only interview questions I would have for authors would be about their pets. (I also envy Rachel because not only does she have an awesome blog, she IS SURROUNDED BY ANIMALS.)
And I'm just like, yes! These are beautiful ideas! BUT WHY CAN I NEVER COME UP WITH THEM?
I think the reason it bothers me so much is that I used to be mildly creative. I thought of and started so many novel ideas. (I never finished any, but I was like 14 so I try not to be too hard on myself for that.) I constantly had ideas and scenarios flowing through my head. A year or two ago I was always making gifs on Tumblr! I've never been very artistic, so I wasn't making awesome and cool graphics, but I feel like gifs count for something.
And now, it's like my mind is blank some of the time. I have managed to write a little - about 12k of a high fantasy (but that was like, last year?) and I recently started a contemporary idea but I go weeks without writing anything. So! My brain isn't dead! Except that yeah, it kind of is. (Part of the problem is that I am a pantser and not a plotter but when I actually sit down to plot, I COME UP EMPTY so really I should just be a Christmas tree farmer instead. Then my life can be a Hallmark Christmas movie, yes?)
But anyway. BACK TO BLOGGING. I think I certainly have an amount of envy and suffer from that problem where I'm comparing my blog to others - why can't I write intriguing and/or fun discussions like that? But it's not even just that. I look at my blog, all on its own, and I'm not happy. I want it to be better. I want it to be more engaging. I want to be able to post more than reviews. (Even though I love reviews! A lot! IT'S WHY I'M HERE!)
This post is kind of going in circles so, point blank: I've lost whatever creativity I had when I was in high school. I've also lost a lot of motivation to actually be creative. And I think I've accepted that this will never be the kind of blog that has new and exciting content, like, ever, and I'm just going to keep chugging along this way until I get whiny and make another post almost identical to this.
Do you ever feel this way? HOW DO YOU ACTUALLY MAKE IT STOP?