So this kind of ties in to last Tuesday's post, but I think we've all realized that I am not creative or original or anything fun. But let me tell you, I am afraid of a LOT of things.
Okay, this is obviously not anywhere near exclusive to blogging. But it makes things hard. Whenever I tweet an author often, I'm afraid of what they think of me. Whether it be that I'm a nuisance or that I'm only tweeting because I want something, like an ARC. Or that people look at my blog and go, "What does she think she's doing? Who does she think she is? This is such a joke." I DON'T KNOW. IT'S THE WORST.
Also, emails. Obviously. I fear so much judgement when I send an email of any kind. It's awful. I've said it before, and I'll say it again - I physically can't send emails requesting ARCs or asking questions or anything like that. Not that I would/should at this point, but anyways.
Hating a book everyone loves.
This is a given, of course. I hate it when I just don't enjoy a hyped up book. Or when I absolutely
CAN'T STAND that book. IT JUST REALLY SUCKS. You see everyone talking about it all the time, and you're just sitting there ready to start things on fire because YOU HATED IT THAT MUCH. AND NO ONE WILL STOP TALKING ABOUT. And then you think - oh, well maybe I just interpreted it completely wrong and it's my fault. Maybe I should try again. (Except no, because WHO HAS TIME FOR THAT.)
Loving a book everyone hates.
Again, you think - what is wrong with me? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? Am I gross for not finding that one thing as disturbing as everyone else? And then you slip into panic mode because the book you love probably isn't going to do so hot AND THEN WHAT DO YOU DO? Cry a lot? Yeah. That's me.
Obviously. Especially since it's already happened to me once, and the way I handled it was REALLY
SHITTY. I'm already feeling very overwhelmed by all the things I want to read and trying to keep up with consistent content. I'm afraid of what's going to happen when I go to a new and more intense school in the fall. And the constant underlying drama is exhausting. (Also sometimes entertaining. Oops?)
Not being creative enough.
With the huge amount of blogs we all follow, you need creative content to stand out. I clearly have none. Ever. Cait at Paper Fury is always super creative in every post. Faye has a super cool series where you choose your own love interest. I post some reviews and call it good. And it just makes me really sad - I don't think I have a creative bone in my body anymore. I literally cannot think of anything new and fun to post on this blog, and it really scares me. Because why would anyone want to stick around?
Tagging the wrong publishers on Twitter.
Yes, this is legit one of my biggest fears. I just start getting really confused with all the imprints. Like, is Fierce Reads the one to tag for all my Macmillan reviews? But it's especially bad with HarperCollins. WHEN DO YOU TAG EPICREADS? DOES ANYONE EVER TAG HARPERCHILDRENS? WHAT'S GOING ON? I seem to be the only person who doesn't know. But I don't want to tag the wrong people, so I just never do at all.
That feeling of being left out.
I am just inherently not a very social person, which just makes this a lot worse. I don't really think I need to explain this one at all since most of us deal with it. It can just make blogging really hard.
That feeling that you make no impact.
And here we go. This is it. This is the one. I love reading. I love sharing my opinions on those books, both the good and the bad ones. But sometimes I sit and wonder - why am I even bothering, when none of it makes a difference? I really don't think I've ever convinced someone to buy a book. Mostly I'm still going because I REALLY NEEDED A HOBBY.
So what about you? Do you share most of these fears? What is your absolute biggest one?